The One About Rich Descriptions

Hi, friend! I'm so glad that you're here. This week’s blog offers a sneak peek into a unit focused on launching writer’s notebooks in the classroom by myself and two of my peers. The following “Your Turn” lesson encourages students to focus on the revision strategy of using rich descriptions to enhance their writing and engage their readers. The most exciting part? I’m encouraging you to use one of my favorite mentor texts from last semester- Matt de la Pena’s Last Stop on Market Street! By focusing on his use of specific verbs and utilizing the “Using Rich Descriptions” chart that I’ve created, students will be prompted to write in a way that leaves their readers feeling as if they may actually be watching a movie!

Your Turn Lesson:

Using Rich Descriptions to Enhance Writing and Engage Readers

Hook:

The teacher should select a mentor text that engages readers through the use of rich, descriptive language. I recommend Matt de la Pena’s Last Stop on Market Street which tells the story of CJ and his nana’s Sunday journeys across town to the last stop on Market Street. First, read the book with children without showing the illustrations. After reading the story, revisit the text and chart places throughout the book where the author uses rich, descriptive language that helps the reader to engage in the story. The teacher might choose to explain that time when readers feel that they can “see” the story happening may be instances when rich, descriptive language is being used.

Purpose:

Good writers tell us stories in a way that sometimes makes it feel as if we are watching a movie. They accomplish this by using rich, descriptive language to tell us about the events that are occurring. Today, we are going to be on the lookout for ways that Matt de la Pena does this effectively in his own writing and search for ways that we can mimic this technique in our own work.

Brainstorm:

Have students brainstorm a list of nouns that they might need to describe in a story from their own writer’s notebook. Then, have them determine a potential verb and adjective that they could use when describing the given noun using the template provided. Some examples inspired by Matt de la Pena’s work have been provided for them as a starting point.

Model:

Share an idea from your own writing that you want to expand on by adding rich details. Model using the chart to create a rich description for your students.

Writers, today I want to tell you about the time that I learned how to dive into the pool. I was really nervous, so my heart was beating pretty quickly in my chest. In order to make this description more engaging and richer for my readers, I am going to organize my ideas in the “Using Rich Descriptions” chart before writing it as part of my story.

Include students in your thinking “out loud” process by asking them to brainstorm possible verbs (beat or thump) and adjectives (hard, fast, strong, etc.) that relate to the noun that you have selected (heart). Then, add these to your chart.

Then, combine the words together to effectively create a rich, descriptive phrase.

Writers, you helped me decide that my heart was thumping in my chest in a way that was both hard and fast. When I combined all of those details, I came up with the following rich description for my story: My heart thumped hard and fast, in my chest, as I looked down at the water.

Shared/Guided Writing:

Together with your students, brainstorm a list of nouns that you all might use as a class to describe a food fight that breaks out in the school cafeteria. A potential list could include: spaghetti, pizza, milk, students, teachers, tables, floor, etc. Then, have students help you to complete the rest of the “Using Rich Descriptions” chart (verbs, adjectives, and potential phrases). When finished, the chart could look something like this:

Model organizing and ordering these thoughts for students to produce the following piece of writing:

Yesterday, a food fight broke out in the school cafeteria at lunch. I don’t know exactly how it began. Students hurled fresh food from their trays through the air. Warm spaghetti splattered against the wall. Chocolate milk spilled across the lunch room floor. Teachers ran around waving their hands like crazy and motioning for the food fight to stop. It was insane!

Independent Writing:

Ask students to return to a previous story in their writer’s notebook and revise the content to create more rich descriptions using specific verbs and adjectives. They might also choose to start a new piece of writing where they try out the “Using Rich Descriptions” strategy to build content.

Reflection:

How did adding rich details to your story make your writing better?

What kinds of words did you find to be most helpful in adding rich descriptions to your writing? (nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc.)

When do you think is the best time to use this strategy? Do you think this strategy is always appropriate and useful for every part of your story when writing?

---

De la Peña, Matt. (2015). Last stop on Market Street. New York, New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.